[ caroline looks grateful for the coffee, although a moment later her stomach drops. nothing is harder than disappointing elena. and she already knows this is going to suck, big time.]
Do you want some too? [ caroline's got bourbon to spare.]
Sure, why not? We wouldn't want you drinking alone, right?
[Just going to act like everything's okay, because if she's not freaking out then maybe Caroline will relax a little, tell her what's going on. Time to be the rock.]
[ caroline grabs a bottle of bourbon from under the bed, trying to ignore the affection she feels towards elena, the same feelings that she'd felt towards damon except stronger. she already knew that after she admitted the truth, she has to go.]
Something happened. [ she pours some bourbon into her mug before going over to do the same for elena's.] Like I said. I was... I was giving Damon a haircut. [ her eyes lift to look at elena hoping she wouldn't have to say more but knowing she should.] And it's... you and his month. I didn't... I thought I could resist it. I mean, I hate Damon.
[She doesn't have to hear the rest. Not really. She went to Damon's hut when he'd first told her what was going on. She'd barely been able to resist herself, and it had been both of the affected at the same time.
She remembered what had happened between her and Rebekah, how the blonde shouldn't have given a crap about how sick she was, let alone be the one to fix it.
A haircut. She feels sick.]
Alright. [She forces the words out, her eyes falling away from her friend briefly.] I guess I can kind of see where this is going.
[She holds her mug out, waiting for Caroline to pour some into her cup. She's going to need it now.]
So, then what happened?
[She assumes Caroline might have...tried to initiate something. But Damon wouldn't reciprocate that.
[ this is the first time she felt the drawn in this way towards anyone here, she didn't know the effect it could have on her. but it was also, in part (a tiny part), some kind of retaliation towards stefan even if she had no right to feel the way she did or to feel that jealousy.
and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt elena.
caroline pours the booze before she moves away, setting it aside, avoiding her friend's gaze for a moment. she had hoped elena would've connected the dots but she couldn't avoid the truth now. she feels sick, her stomach twisting, tears burning behind her eyes. the elena she knows, is not the same as the one who stands here, the one she knows is the one who is deeply in love with damon now.]
We... [ she looks at elena, tilting her head.] Had sex. I'm sorry. I'm... really, really sorry. I don't even know why it happened or why I wanted it, it was like... he kept pushing me and I thought about leaving but... I didn't. And I know I'm a horrible person. I'm horrible and awful. I don't know what came over me.
[Her grip on her coffee mug is suddenly just a little too tight, and it's a good thing she's still human because otherwise it probably would have shattered in her hands.
She has no right to feel the things she feels at that. Because her first reaction is anger and jealousy, and Damon doesn't belong to her. She's been pushing down all those feelings ever since she got here, because she's supposed to love Stefan, who doesn't want her either.
Or he does, but he can't.
It's complicated, and a mess, and she sure as hell can't just turn and deal with this place's bullshit with Damon because that's not fair either.
But she also knows she's been quiet too long, and other feelings have emerged. There's still anger; she's livid, actually. But it isn't at her.
It's at Damon.]
No, you're not.
[If she felt sick before, she's surprised it hasn't actually happened now. She sets her mug aside, has to run her hand through her hair. The urge to move and hug Caroline is powerful, but given what she's just heard?
That's probably not a good idea.]
What happened isn't your fault. He pushed you. He took advantage of the situation.
[There's an edge of cold to her voice, because she can't quite keep all these emotions inside in the heat of the moment.]
[ the silence is unnerving, it has caroline shifting on her feet, her stomach twisting into tighter knots than she could've ever imagined. and just when she's about to open her mouth, to offer to leave, elena finally speaks. she tells her that it's not her fault, that she's not a horrible person.]
I should've... I should've left. [ but it was a stupid moth to a stupid flame situation. and she lost control.] I shouldn't have gone in the first place. [ caroline wants to hug her best friend too but the same thought goes through her head, the last thing they need is...
she looks a bit devastated.] Elena... I'm... I know that you guys aren't together but that doesn't mean... [ she lets out a breath.] I don't want Damon like that, ever. Not after... [ what he did to her. but this time? she had wanted him. more than anything.]
And now I just... I think I shouldn't stay here. Because if I can do that... with him? [ she looks up at her best friend.] I'm just going to take some of my stuff and stay in one of the empty huts. [ or maybe stay with stiles.]
[Elena rakes her hands through her hair. If Caroline can fess up to something like this, then it's only fair that she do the same.]
I know what it feels like, Care. You remember when I was sick, how it just went away?
[She has to pick up her mug, drink a long sip off of it. She wishes there was more booze in it now.]
Rebekah found me while I was resting, because I couldn't make it home. She helped me, and I know it wasn't out of the goodness of her heart.
[She hadn't known why at the time, but she sure did now. And if Rebekah couldn't resist it, as an Original? It had taken literally everything inside her to walk away from Damon's hut the other day when she'd tried to prove a point.
But it isn't Caroline's month. Damon has no excuses, and she doesn't know what to do with that knowledge.
She nods unhappily. She gets it. She doesn't want to be alone here, but she understands.]
Yeah, okay. If you think that's what you should do...
You and Rebekah? [ Is everyone having sex with--- Caroline realizes that she can't be judgey, that she has no room for it. She's now slept with every guy from home here. This place makes you do crazy things.]
Are you okay? I mean... [ She reaches for the booze, downing the coffee first before she offers the bottle over to Elena first.]
I don't want to, Elena. [ Except she does, she wants to wallow in her shame for a while. That or pretend this never happened and do ten thousand projects. ] But I also really don't want to... you know... with you. [ Pause.] No offense. I love you but... [ Normally, they'd be laughing about this, she knows but right now, it feels like none of this is funny.]
I wasn't exactly in my right mind, either. If anyone offers you aloe, tell them no.
[Things she learned the hard way. She sighs.]
I'm as fine as I can be, all things considered. [She reaches out and takes the bottle, coffee drained and not nearly strong enough anyway. She takes a drink same from the bottle (hope that's okay bestie) and pulls a face at the taste.] It could have been worse.
[And she does feel a lot better, though it's only a matter of time before it happens again.]
No, I know. I don't...want that, either. [She's starting to wonder if anything like that is totally preventable, though.] We'll be fine. It's only for a couple of weeks.
Oh, I know. [ caroline may not have told elena about stefan but she definitely told her about klaus and how something about a certain flower had... well, pushed things along.] It could've been Klaus. [ which was worse than any of the other options, if caroline was being honest. sorry, klaus.]
It's just, like, this place makes us make every bad decision we could ever make. [ she tries to give her friend a smile but it's a bit broken.]
Of course, it's only a few weeks. I'll just take a pillow, the perks of being a vampire. [ or something.] We can still hang out... just... not as long and, well, I think sleeping in the same bed is pushing it.
[Elena just pulls a face, because no matter how much the rest of this is awful and serious, she just didn't want that thought in her head. At all. Gross.]
And we thought having a few too many drinks was bad.
[It's a poor joke, but it's also not a lie. Poor life decisions weren't exactly something the didn't already have a problem with, but this place took all that to a whole different level.
Her problem was that some people were making those consciously. And she was going to be giving one of them a piece of her mind.]
Yeah, I understand. But...take a blanket, too. You shouldn't have to be uncomfortable because of me.
[ Caroline laughs a bit at the poor joke, just because she was desperate to have some normalcy between she and Elena. She didn't want their friendship to be strained because of this place, it had been last time she was here, and Caroline was miserable, completely.]
It's not because of you. [ Caroline is quick to say, moving towards the bed to take one of the pillows and the blanket at the foot of the mattress.] Maybe next month we'll get another bed for this place. Then we don't have to worry about awkward... ness.
[This situation is anything but normal, but they're friends. Best friends. That's what matters, and they'll figure it out. They'll get through this mess, and anything she can do to make it easier? She'll do it.]
With how often gifts pop up, it's probably only a matter of time.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Do you want some too? [ caroline's got bourbon to spare.]
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[Just going to act like everything's okay, because if she's not freaking out then maybe Caroline will relax a little, tell her what's going on. Time to be the rock.]
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Something happened. [ she pours some bourbon into her mug before going over to do the same for elena's.] Like I said. I was... I was giving Damon a haircut. [ her eyes lift to look at elena hoping she wouldn't have to say more but knowing she should.] And it's... you and his month. I didn't... I thought I could resist it. I mean, I hate Damon.
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She remembered what had happened between her and Rebekah, how the blonde shouldn't have given a crap about how sick she was, let alone be the one to fix it.
A haircut. She feels sick.]
Alright. [She forces the words out, her eyes falling away from her friend briefly.] I guess I can kind of see where this is going.
[She holds her mug out, waiting for Caroline to pour some into her cup. She's going to need it now.]
So, then what happened?
[She assumes Caroline might have...tried to initiate something. But Damon wouldn't reciprocate that.
Would he?]
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and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt elena.
caroline pours the booze before she moves away, setting it aside, avoiding her friend's gaze for a moment. she had hoped elena would've connected the dots but she couldn't avoid the truth now. she feels sick, her stomach twisting, tears burning behind her eyes. the elena she knows, is not the same as the one who stands here, the one she knows is the one who is deeply in love with damon now.]
We... [ she looks at elena, tilting her head.] Had sex. I'm sorry. I'm... really, really sorry. I don't even know why it happened or why I wanted it, it was like... he kept pushing me and I thought about leaving but... I didn't. And I know I'm a horrible person. I'm horrible and awful. I don't know what came over me.
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She has no right to feel the things she feels at that. Because her first reaction is anger and jealousy, and Damon doesn't belong to her. She's been pushing down all those feelings ever since she got here, because she's supposed to love Stefan, who doesn't want her either.
Or he does, but he can't.
It's complicated, and a mess, and she sure as hell can't just turn and deal with this place's bullshit with Damon because that's not fair either.
But she also knows she's been quiet too long, and other feelings have emerged. There's still anger; she's livid, actually. But it isn't at her.
It's at Damon.]
No, you're not.
[If she felt sick before, she's surprised it hasn't actually happened now. She sets her mug aside, has to run her hand through her hair. The urge to move and hug Caroline is powerful, but given what she's just heard?
That's probably not a good idea.]
What happened isn't your fault. He pushed you. He took advantage of the situation.
[There's an edge of cold to her voice, because she can't quite keep all these emotions inside in the heat of the moment.]
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I should've... I should've left. [ but it was a stupid moth to a stupid flame situation. and she lost control.] I shouldn't have gone in the first place. [ caroline wants to hug her best friend too but the same thought goes through her head, the last thing they need is...
she looks a bit devastated.] Elena... I'm... I know that you guys aren't together but that doesn't mean... [ she lets out a breath.] I don't want Damon like that, ever. Not after... [ what he did to her. but this time? she had wanted him. more than anything.]
And now I just... I think I shouldn't stay here. Because if I can do that... with him? [ she looks up at her best friend.] I'm just going to take some of my stuff and stay in one of the empty huts. [ or maybe stay with stiles.]
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I know what it feels like, Care. You remember when I was sick, how it just went away?
[She has to pick up her mug, drink a long sip off of it. She wishes there was more booze in it now.]
Rebekah found me while I was resting, because I couldn't make it home. She helped me, and I know it wasn't out of the goodness of her heart.
[She hadn't known why at the time, but she sure did now. And if Rebekah couldn't resist it, as an Original? It had taken literally everything inside her to walk away from Damon's hut the other day when she'd tried to prove a point.
But it isn't Caroline's month. Damon has no excuses, and she doesn't know what to do with that knowledge.
She nods unhappily. She gets it. She doesn't want to be alone here, but she understands.]
Yeah, okay. If you think that's what you should do...
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Are you okay? I mean... [ She reaches for the booze, downing the coffee first before she offers the bottle over to Elena first.]
I don't want to, Elena. [ Except she does, she wants to wallow in her shame for a while. That or pretend this never happened and do ten thousand projects. ] But I also really don't want to... you know... with you. [ Pause.] No offense. I love you but... [ Normally, they'd be laughing about this, she knows but right now, it feels like none of this is funny.]
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[Things she learned the hard way. She sighs.]
I'm as fine as I can be, all things considered. [She reaches out and takes the bottle, coffee drained and not nearly strong enough anyway. She takes a drink same from the bottle (hope that's okay bestie) and pulls a face at the taste.] It could have been worse.
[And she does feel a lot better, though it's only a matter of time before it happens again.]
No, I know. I don't...want that, either. [She's starting to wonder if anything like that is totally preventable, though.] We'll be fine. It's only for a couple of weeks.
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It's just, like, this place makes us make every bad decision we could ever make. [ she tries to give her friend a smile but it's a bit broken.]
Of course, it's only a few weeks. I'll just take a pillow, the perks of being a vampire. [ or something.] We can still hang out... just... not as long and, well, I think sleeping in the same bed is pushing it.
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And we thought having a few too many drinks was bad.
[It's a poor joke, but it's also not a lie. Poor life decisions weren't exactly something the didn't already have a problem with, but this place took all that to a whole different level.
Her problem was that some people were making those consciously. And she was going to be giving one of them a piece of her mind.]
Yeah, I understand. But...take a blanket, too. You shouldn't have to be uncomfortable because of me.
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It's not because of you. [ Caroline is quick to say, moving towards the bed to take one of the pillows and the blanket at the foot of the mattress.] Maybe next month we'll get another bed for this place. Then we don't have to worry about awkward... ness.
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With how often gifts pop up, it's probably only a matter of time.
[Attempt at optimism, go.]